Portland, OR

I am going to go out on a limb and say that, by Governor Sarah Palin’s definition, Portland is considered to be part of that non-”real America.”

Firstly, WTF? How does this woman get to go around and say things like that? On federal funds, no less. And don’t get me started on Michelle Bachmann.

Seriously? How did this woman rise such a high level of politics in this country? I would drum her out of office so fast for being so stupid. Ignore the bigot in her, she is just dumb. See, gentlemen, this is what you get when you vote with your willy.

Anyhoo, I really don’t ever, ever see Palin campaigning in Portland. Even if Oregon were a bit more of a swing state (it is a swing state, but if you trust the daily polling, you might chalk it up to the Democrats), would the McCain campaign visit Oregon? If so, which cities? Would he come to Portland?

I have referred before to Portland’s Republican-given nickname of Little Beirut. I first heard of the nickname’s origins in Chuck Palahniuk’s Fugitives and Refugees: A Walk in Portland, Oregon (a travel book of sorts). I cannot remember the exact story but it had something to do with George H.W. Bush’s reception in the city back in the early 1990’s. Protesters showed up after eating mashed potatoes dyed red, white, and blue with food coloring (I believe the blue-colored potatoes came up green unbeknowst to the planners — always pays to test things out first) and manually regurgitated those potatoes all over the sidewalks around wherever Bush the Elder was. That is paraphrased, of course, so I may have missed something. But if you haven’t read the source book, you might want to. It’s quite enjoyable, and you definitely learn some things about the city you don’t find in other guide books. And all of that framed with Palahniuk’s wit and sense of the odd.

This is what gets me about Palin and her ilk. They seem to espouse these ideals of less regulation and less government interference in people’s lives, and yet they support the government stepping in on the very personal in those same people’s lives — taking away certain rights, like the freedom of reproduction and marriage and religion and education. I just read over the Oregon elections booklet that details the candidates for the upcoming election, and my new favorite presidential candidate is Chuck Baldwin. If you have not read it, I urge you to, it’s hilarious. Same with Michael Marsh, a Constitution party candidate for State Treasurer. Who said elections are dull? These guys are crazy.

From Marsh’s blurb:

Leaders of the Democrat and Republican parties with their Ivy League educations are either incredibly stupid or are deliberately destroying us. It is time to return to Constitutional Government and become once again a land of opportunity for Americans. We have entered, voluntarily, into a slave relationship, with our government masters.

Come on, Marsh, I’d say that if you are a legitimate candidate for a State office, that is a good example of American having opportunity for all.

By the way, he goes on to talk about the microchip that is going to be installed in everyone and used by the banks and the Democrats and Republicans to suspend identifications and ATM withdrawals.

Disclaimer: I have a long history of voting for third parties (voted for Nader twice — always in a state that the Democrats had in the bag, so I am not responsible for George W.), so my little poking of fun at the Constitution Party is not an example of third-party-bashing.

Sarah Palin, Portland, Oregon, Little Beirut, Michelle Bachmann, Chuck Palahniuk, George H.W. Bush, George Bush, McCain, Constitution Party, Democrat, Republican, Nader