Portland, OR

Believe it or not, most writers supplement their incomes working in restaurants. It’s easy and quick cash, and allows us plenty of time to write. And writers don’t make that much writing, and somehow we must make money to buy our laptops and internet service, right?

I have bartended and waited tables on and off for years, through college and beyond. It is a somewhat addictive lifestyle that some of us actually enjoy. I fell into that category…that is, until I moved to Portland.

For anyone out there that is thinking about either a) getting a part-time restaurant gig in PDX or b) moving to Portland and getting a restaurant job as their main source of income — BEWARE.

I have worked in five restaurants in the last fifteen months. I “opened” three of those restaurants, meaning that I was hired before the restaurant opened its doors and was part of the opening staff. At least, two of those restaurants are now closed. I write “at least” because a third may have closed. I haven’t checked on it since I left it after two weeks of being open with absolutely no business. A fourth restaurant was struggling to stay open, so truthfully, it may have also closed its doors.

Now granted, the current economy has not helped, but I am going to piss some people off by saying that the Portland restaurant scene is like amateur hour.

I know, I know, you want to say how great our restaurants are, and I won’t argue with you. We have some good chefs and great local product. Dining here is rather unpretentious, and at times very affordable. Portland has a good restaurant scene if you are a diner.

However, if you are a restaurant professional, and I use that term loosely, you can never be too sure about your next paycheck or night’s tip.

For example, I opened a very high-end place this last May/June. It supposedly had a lot of money behind it, enough that it could operate at a loss for quite some time, as the restaurant waited until it generated enough sales to cover its seemingly astronomical operating expenses. The place just announced last week it was shutting its doors and closed down three days later. As I am no longer with that company (thank goodness for many other reasons in addition to its abrupt end), I have no idea what will happen to its 60+ employees, and I feel very sorry for the staff. They put in an inordinate amount of work for six long, underpaid months, only to be told two weeks before Xmas that they would no longer have a job. I hope that the corporate overlords gave them all a nice severance package, but as it is the restaurant biz, I highly doubt it.

Another restaurant I opened last winter shut down after two months. At the time, I had to take a leave of absence for a family matter, and I was not dependent on that income, thankfully, but again, a large staff was told with very little warning that they were out of work. The saddest part was that this restaurant was part of the Hayden empire, and a few other restaurants were shut down by the financing company (or so I heard) at the same time. More hard-working restaurant people out of work.

I don’t quite get it. Does Portland give people delusions of grandeur in thinking that if they build it, people will eat there? Restaurants are notoriously bad businesses if you want to make a lot of money. The profit margins are small. Unless it is your true and absolute passion, don’t open a restaurant. It’s a money-sucking bitch goddess that will leave you and your bank account dry.

Sadly, waiter and waitresses get sucked into what becomes a mass delusion. They are told about how much money they will make, and how well the business is going to be, only to realize soon enough that they have been suckered into taking a minimum wage job with no future past a few months. And then the vicious cycle will start again with the next job.

It does however seem like a (fool’s) paradise for restaurant consultants. When a restaurant is failing, a consultant is inevitably called in, to little or no avail. But they still get paid, and move onto the next failing business to not help.

But to all my restaurant-employed or potentially-employed brethren, I urge you to watch out when hired at a place in this town. Very few restauranteurs seem to know what they are doing in this town (more so than many other places I have lived and worked). Luckily, I found a pretty good place right now for a night or two a week. The owners are saavy, and besides that I like them. Unfortunately, the economy is soooo bad, that tips are harder to come by through no fault of the establishment. Time for a dreaded day job…or grad school.

Portland, restaurants, dining, jobs, business, restauranteur, consultant, corporate, bartending, waiting tables, waiters, waitresses