Portland, OR

I finally made it up to Heron Lakes this last Sunday. It was a beautiful (rare) sunny day for Portland, so I knew it would be busy and slow-going, but I did not expect top be next to a racetrack all day.

It started out right away. Second hole, and it sounded like an entire ninth grade class of newly pubescent boys were running go-carts on the other side of a stand of trees. I asked one of the twosome I was paired up with (a couple of noisy pseudo-fratboys that ended up irritating me by the end of the nine holes I was forced to play with them) what was causing all the racket. This guy informed me that Heron Lakes is right next door to the Portland International Raceway.

One, what is so international about it? I have never understood why a racetrack would name itself “International.” Being this far north in the United States, and having Canadians so close, I know that international may be technically right, but come on…

Two, I have never quite understood why people find cars going around in a circle so damn entertaining. I grew up with all kinds of toys — dirtbikes, snowmobiles, motorboats, etc — so I understand speed and motorsports, but how is a circular course interesting? You know exactly what’s going to happen, and the only possibility of something out of the ordinary happening is of course when an accident occurs. And if that is what you are looking forward to, then really that is a bit morbid. And don’t get me wrong, I am a hockey fan, so I enjoy random violence, but a car accident is a bit more than a sucker punch during a hotly contested game.

But again, I digress.

Heron Lakes is really quite pretty, and I think for the most part quite peaceful. My advice is to check out the PIR schedule for races, as golfing with a constant high-pitched engine whine in the background can be a bit off-putting. Thankfully, it ended around six pm. So really, I only had to play eleven holes with that noise, but it was bad enough that I would take care to avoid it in the future.

I played the Great Blue course as opposed to the Greenback course. The Great Blue is the harder of the two, and it really requires good placement and excellent putting. The greens were hard and fast, and quite undulated. After I made the turn and began playing with two older (and much cooler) guys, and they were good, but even they were struggling in the putting department. So I didn’t feel so badly about three-putting so much.

The course was in pretty good shape, but I did notice that no one, and I mean NO ONE, replaces divots on this course. At one point, maybe around hole 14 or 15, the fairway looked like a divot graveyard. I really don’t understand how hard it is to replace divots, and it helps the course stay in good shape, but like most inconsiderate Americans, some golfers don’t think too much about those around them or after them.

There were some really lovely views of Mt. Hood by the way, especially on Hole 13. Also, I got a great deal. $26 for 18 on a Sunday at 2:48. My boyfriend found that online, but even the girl checking him in at the pro shop thought that was a great deal.

And yes, I saw two herons.

Heron Lakes, Great Blue, Greenback, golf course, Portland, Portland International Speedway, PIS, Mt Hood