Portland, OR

I am going to go out on a limb and say that, by Governor Sarah Palin’s definition, Portland is considered to be part of that non-”real America.”

Firstly, WTF? How does this woman get to go around and say things like that? On federal funds, no less. And don’t get me started on Michelle Bachmann.

Seriously? How did this woman rise such a high level of politics in this country? I would drum her out of office so fast for being so stupid. Ignore the bigot in her, she is just dumb. See, gentlemen, this is what you get when you vote with your willy.

Anyhoo, I really don’t ever, ever see Palin campaigning in Portland. Even if Oregon were a bit more of a swing state (it is a swing state, but if you trust the daily polling, you might chalk it up to the Democrats), would the McCain campaign visit Oregon? If so, which cities? Would he come to Portland?

I have referred before to Portland’s Republican-given nickname of Little Beirut. I first heard of the nickname’s origins in Chuck Palahniuk’s Fugitives and Refugees: A Walk in Portland, Oregon (a travel book of sorts). I cannot remember the exact story but it had something to do with George H.W. Bush’s reception in the city back in the early 1990’s. Protesters showed up after eating mashed potatoes dyed red, white, and blue with food coloring (I believe the blue-colored potatoes came up green unbeknowst to the planners — always pays to test things out first) and manually regurgitated those potatoes all over the sidewalks around wherever Bush the Elder was. That is paraphrased, of course, so I may have missed something. But if you haven’t read the source book, you might want to. It’s quite enjoyable, and you definitely learn some things about the city you don’t find in other guide books. And all of that framed with Palahniuk’s wit and sense of the odd.

This is what gets me about Palin and her ilk. They seem to espouse these ideals of less regulation and less government interference in people’s lives, and yet they support the government stepping in on the very personal in those same people’s lives — taking away certain rights, like the freedom of reproduction and marriage and religion and education. I just read over the Oregon elections booklet that details the candidates for the upcoming election, and my new favorite presidential candidate is Chuck Baldwin. If you have not read it, I urge you to, it’s hilarious. Same with Michael Marsh, a Constitution party candidate for State Treasurer. Who said elections are dull? These guys are crazy.

From Marsh’s blurb:

Leaders of the Democrat and Republican parties with their Ivy League educations are either incredibly stupid or are deliberately destroying us. It is time to return to Constitutional Government and become once again a land of opportunity for Americans. We have entered, voluntarily, into a slave relationship, with our government masters.

Come on, Marsh, I’d say that if you are a legitimate candidate for a State office, that is a good example of American having opportunity for all.

By the way, he goes on to talk about the microchip that is going to be installed in everyone and used by the banks and the Democrats and Republicans to suspend identifications and ATM withdrawals.

Disclaimer: I have a long history of voting for third parties (voted for Nader twice — always in a state that the Democrats had in the bag, so I am not responsible for George W.), so my little poking of fun at the Constitution Party is not an example of third-party-bashing.

Sarah Palin, Portland, Oregon, Little Beirut, Michelle Bachmann, Chuck Palahniuk, George H.W. Bush, George Bush, McCain, Constitution Party, Democrat, Republican, Nader

A somewhat unique aspect to Portland is the roach coach scene. When I refer to a roach coach, I speak fondly of food carts or wagons.

Obviously, food carts or wagons are found across the country and for that matter, the world. A mobile restaurant is quite handy when following a carnival or festival circuit. Well, in Portland, they are everywhere and rather permanent.

I cannot say that I am a mobile food wagon connoisseur by any means. I eschew festivals and carnivals, so for most of my life, I simply have not had the opportunity to try these places out. You don’t see a whole lot of food carts in Chicago. There is that crappy pizza cart outside the Wicker Park/Bucktown triangle, outside of Underdog and Flash Taco, in a “bar-muda triangle.” Unfortunately, I did get a slice from that cart late one night, and as it wasn’t good, it underscored my rather snobby opinion regarding food carts.

But then, there is a big difference between a food cart and a food wagon. A “wagon” can be either a truck, but usually more of a trailer. But it has power and water. There is equipment to cook food, rather than simply keep it warm before serving. So Portland is a food wagon town.

I am almost done trying every one of the wagons in Sellwood, on SE 13th Ave and Lexington. First, I had a burrito at Uruapan, a small wagon farther down on Lexington, and when I say farther down, I mean twenty feet, maybe. The burrito was good, as good as a Chicago taqueria. Sorry to keep comparing to Chicago, but one) it is my background and two) Chicago is heavily hispanic in its street food (whereas I would say that Portland is much more Asian in its street food scene — there is bento everywhere). The steak tacos were authentic, with onion and cilantro only. No shredded lettuce, no cheese, no white people tacos.

The next visit, I tried the BBQ wagon, perhaps Chuckwagon BBQ, if I can remember correctly. Really tasty pulled pork sandwich. Almost went back for that one today, but instead tried Garden State. I found a picture of the guy who runs the wagon, so I am guessing this one is better known, or he put the picture up himself. I kind of remember seeing some laminated newspaper pages hanging up, and the picture looked familiar, so it is probably from that. Anyhoo, I had the chicken sandwich, which I really wasn’t that excited about, as I am not one of those “chicken sandwich, please,” kind of girls, but it was really, really good. It had slices of cured lemon on it, with arugula and a goat cheese cream that was tas-tee. My BF had the meatball hero, and though I tend to require veggies on a sandwich, it was damn good. Good choice of rolls on both, and that is so important, which makes it so sad when sandwich chefs overlook the bread. The guys behind the counter were charmingly Jersey. Wait, is that an oxymoron?

I also had fish and chips at Sellwood Pub’s wagon. Two pieces of battered halibut, almost greasy chips, really light and crisp slaw. I will return there, and I am not big on fried food, so that is a significant recommendation from me. Now, I wouldn’t eat fish and chips every day, mind you, but why would I when I have so many choices on a 1500 square foot area. I have yet to try My Sister’s Soup. I am waiting for a rainy day…which, hi, this is Portland, and it has rained like two days in the past three months it seems. I’m confused and sick of watering my garden.

Portland, food carts, food wagons, Chicago, roach coach, mobile restaurants, Sellwood, Chuckwagon BBQ, BBQ, Garden State, Uruapan, Sellwood Pub, My Sister’s Soup

I have noticed that an inordinate amount of people my age and younger in Portland do not either own a TV or subscribe to cable.

WTF?

Seriously, I understand that most, if not all television pretty much sucks, but come on, television is one of those things that we all watch and rely on as a common denominator. I mean, sometimes I will watch a show just to see what it is in case I come across a trivia question about it in the future. It’s called Pop Culture, people! Hell, I even watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy just to how much it sucked, and boy, did it.

I am one of those people that loves TV. And I don’t mean that I love what is on TV for the most part, but just the whole idea, process and culture of TV. For goodness sake, I majored in film and television studies, so I think I had better find some sort of enjoyment in television, even if only on an academic level.

So, to the young people of Portland, television can be a wonderful thing. Have you watched Science Channel? SciFi channel? Cartoon Network?! What about PBS? Even if you think you are too good to watch the usual television shows, you have to tune in for an occasional Frontline or Nature or Charlie Rose.

I tend to like to talk TV as well, and it is so frustrating to me when I bring up last night’s Project Runway (SOOO HAPPY that ever-whiny Keith is gone, btw), and the person I am trying to talk to says, “Oh, I don’t watch TV.” It’s like them saying I don’t care about the collective experience of living in the age of mass media. I think that some people see it as a badge of “coolness” to not watch TV. Those people are lame, if you ask me. How can you not be curious about commerical entertainment, even as an exercise in studying the medium?

Also, I do suspect that some of those non-TV-watchers are lying to me. Trying to appear as though they are “above” it. You know the type…they only listen to obscure bands, and try to make you feel like a soccer mom if you admit you have never heard of that band that only has an EP out anyway. I am sure that those hipsters (god, I hate that term as much as I hate the uniform of tight jeans and graphic faux-80’s t-shirts they all wear) have watched American Idol, but are too worried about admitting it and losing their street cred.

Disclaimer: I do know some people that simply cannot afford to get cable, and therefore they are excluded from my rant. They at least watch TV via the web or get the DVDs through Netflix.

TV, television, Portland, cable, pop culture, Science Channel, SciFi, Cartoon Network, PBS, Frontline, Nature, Charlie Rose, Project Runway, American Idol, Netflix, Grey’s Anatomy

In what I think is probably the best evidence that there is indeed a liberal bias to the media, Portland has not been named one of the best cities to live in in the United States for 2008.

It must be a conspiracy. Liberal “journalists” are keeping mum and effectively de-listing Portland as one of the best cities in America in which to live. Why, you may ask? To keep the cheeseballs that would move to town based on statistical analysis out of one of the coolest cities in what is a fairly un-cool nation when it comes to progressive ideas and a quality of life that doesn’t revolve around stripmalls and chain restaurants (not that Portland doesn’t also have these stalwarts of American architecture, but here they are the exception rather than the rule).

Okay, okay, there is not a conspiracy involved in Portland failing to make the grade in such influential mags like Forbes and Kiplingers, but then again, who reads Forbes? If MSNBC didn’t turn such lame lists into lamer stories, who would have stumbled across these top ten lists? That guy stuck in the dentist’s office, that’s who.

You and I both know that Portland is one of the most livable cities out there, but do we want everyone else to know it? As a recent transplant, I can see the angst that an influx of newly relocated job candidates can cause, but in defense of those of us who have recently arrived, we come to Portland seeking a way of life and like-minded souls that appeal to who we are as people. We see kindred spirits in Portland and we see a place to make a home with other cool people that like to recycle and buy organic, ride bikes and buses, stop for pedestrians even outside of crosswalks, say hi to their neighbors, and vote with their hopes rather than their fears.

Aw, look at me, being a cheerleader for Stumptown. I was voted “most spirited” on my high school tennis team, so there.

Seriously though, do you know which city made number one on Kiplinger’s top ten? Houston, Texas. Yeah, I know, wtf. Houston? Hot summers, nothing but sprawl and pollution that you can share with about a kajillion other people, and just knowing that George W. Bush lives in that state makes me cringe. I remember a “zip code” article that National Geographic did years a couple of years ago on a suburb of Houston and seriously, the article made me a little sick. Talk about over-consumption.

The rest of the top ten include Raleigh, North Carolina (NC is pretty); Omaha (why, for the love of…); Boise, Idaho (you have got to be kidding); Colorado Springs and Austin (those I can agree with for the most part), Fayetteville, Arkansas (ho-hum, still in Arkansas), Sacramento (at least it’s close to SF and Tahoe), Des Moines (read: Omaha), and Provo, Utah (it is a pretty part of the country, but all those mormons…hard to buy alcohol).

Portland, best cities, 2008, MSNBC, Kiplingers, Forbes, liberal bias, media, Houston, Texas, George W. Bush, Raleigh, Omaha, Boise, Colorado Springs, Austin, Fayetteville, Sacramento, Des Moines, Provo

First, my apologies for the dearth of posts in the last three weeks. I have taken a new job, and it has been a wild and bumpy ride in that this new job is a restaurant, and the last four weeks have been training, and now that the training process is complete I feel that I finally have time to resume my normal (*relative term) life.

One quick observation: The restaurant industry in any city is a small, incestuous community. Be it a major city like Chicago, or a smaller city like Portland, everyone knows everyone, and has possibly slept with that same population. However, if you want to learn a city, get a job in a restaurant. Waiters know all the best spots.

That said, I have been introduced to a great bar, with a great outdoor patio. And who doesn’t love a great outdoor patio on which to drink, right?

Rontom’s on East Burnside at 6th Avenue. There is no sign, so you kind of have to know what you are looking for, a grey building with tallish windows along burnside, maybe two blocks before Le Pigeon. Or you can look for the crowd of ESH (East Side Hipsters — a crossbreed of 80’s throwbacks, if young, and Marxists in thrift store clothes, if a little older) clustered outside.

Now that I am working nights again, it seems that is a precursor to going out after said shift. Rontom’s has been my favourite watering hole thus far. And yes, the patio is the main reason for this newly found libation station.

Come on, you put a ping pong table outside, and how can I resist?

Grandma wasn’t there, but could have been. It’s a big place.

The drinks were strong and appropriately priced. As a bartender myself, I hate paying more than six bucks for a Stoli and tonic. I know how much Stoli costs a bar, so anything more than that and it is literal robbery. Rontom’s charged me $5.50 for a tall, and I can live with that. Not that I am cheap, quite the contrary, but I do not like overpaying for alcohol just to sit somewhere posh, especially when I am so much more comfortable at a pic-a-nic table outside.

Also, the female bartender was cute, and put my tall in a pint glass. A girl after my own heart…

Portland, Chicago, Stoli, Rontoms, Rontom’s, outdoor, patio, drinking

Ah, TriMet. Truthfully speaking, the public transit in Portland is tops! Absolute tops! Well, ok, it could run a little later on some of the main lines, but I understand that this is really not a “late night” kind of town. That is really my only gripe about TriMet. Well, the only gripe that TriMet can do anything about…

So I have noticed a certain universal seating chart on most buses in this town. It seems that the front of the bus, unless occupied by moms with strollers, seems to be the seat of choice for crazy people. Let me define crazy. They may or may not be homeless, they may or may not be clean and relatively well-groomed, but they are definitely crazy for conversation. With you, themselves, the bus driver, some odd voice they hear in their heads.

I was riding the 17 Holgate the other day, in the late afternoon, and maybe it was just because the traffic was bad downtown, but I heard an old man tell anyone listening that he had been to Johnny Cash’s house in Tennessee back in the day. He also sang an original song which he had sang to Cash during the visit. Now, this wouldn’t be so bad, except that I heard the story twice. In its entirety.

Now, the heart of the matter is that the old man was lonely, and he used the bus to gain an audience. See, crazy doesn’t always mean dangerous. There are many of this type of crazy riding the TriMet on a daily basis. If you don’t have the patience to either listen or pretend to listen, you should seek a seat farther back on the bus.

However, though I prefer the back of the bus, actually the second seat on the driver side behind the door is my personal fav, sometimes the back of the bus has the crazy people. Or worse yet, teenagers. Cue ominous music.

So my best advice is to shoot for the middle of the bus. It’s usually quiet there, and there is sufficient light by which to read. Because in Portland, everyone reads on the bus. And if you do talk on your cell phone, be aware that no one else is, so keep your voice down. Unless I am sitting next to you, because I am an unabashed eavesdropper, and so are most people.

In fact, to the girl who was sitting behind me earlier last week, I hope that your “date” that took you to see Bela Fleck didn’t get the wrong idea since you did agree to accept his invitation, even though you have no inclination to date him at all. You were just using him to go to the show…I hope he took it well when you didn’t kiss him goodnight.

Peace.

Portland, TriMet, public transit, Holgate, Johnny Cash, Bela Fleck

I remember once when I was in high school, my parents took a trip to San Francisco. I had been the Southern California a few times, but never San Fran, so naturally, I wanted to go. But no, I had school, and too many absenses already, so instead of waiting for Spring Break, my parents took off without me. Something about frequent flier miles or some other little lie to prevent me from crashing their party. I understand it now, but back then, I pouted. My dad reported that San Francisco was pretty dirty and “full of bums.”

When I finally made it to San Francisco, I had to agree with the old man. There were a lot of homeless people. I had studied the homeless problem, exacerbated when Reagan shut down the state mental hospitals in the 80’s, so I considered myself empathetic and wouldn’t reduce the homeless population to an invisible sector of society. But getting hit up for change constantly does wear on your soul after a while.

Chicago had its fair share of the homeless, and I knew how to avoid some of them after a while. I know, I know, how deplorable to try and avoid the homeless, but a quarter here and there is not going to change anything for them. Something much bigger must happen for that.

Anyway, the point of today’s post is not the politics of homelessness, but instead a musing on which cities have large homeless populations, and how Portland, Oregon stacks up. Speaking from personal experience, Portland has a visible and plentiful homeless population. Under the ramp to get on the Ross Island Bridge from the West side of town, there seems to be a permanent emcampment, and a very sad, very dirty man living there. There may be roommates, but he is the only one I have seen regularly.

Why not pick Portland if you are homeless? The weather is temperate, lots of liberals that rock out the handouts, and lots of parks.

The only problem I have is that I have a hard time telling who is homeless in this town. The homeless seem fairly clean and well-dressed for the most part, much like the San Francisco homeless. Portland is definitely not known for a well-groomed and -dressed populace, so picking out the real bums from the fake is kind of a fun little game while waiting for the bus.

By the way, the worst city I have visited when it comes to high numbers of homelessness seems to be Washington, D.C. There are literally dozens of campsites in parks within throwing distance from the Capitol and the White House. Very sad that the wealthiest nation in the world could have such abject poverty in plain sight. It made me think of “Hoovervilles” from the Great Depression Era.

Another sad graph. I wonder if these numbers will go up with the current housing crisis.

Portland, Oregon, San Francisco, Homeless, Reagan, Chicago, Washington DC, Hoovervilles

If you haven’t heard Portland is, um, “known” for its strip clubs. And the first time I was ever in Portland, yes, I too, went to see what all the hubbub was about…

Here’s my question: Does the number of strip clubs correlate to a high number of hot strippers in town? The answer in Portland is, sadly, no. The advice I have been given is never go at 2:30 pm on a Tuesday, if you get my drift.

However, I would be remiss not to point out that Barfly is promoting its, get this, 12th annual Strip-o-rama. One, it’s a brilliant idea, and two, this will be the 12th year of this, what must be, a magical mystery tour for drunks-that-love-strippers.

Well, if that doesn’t pull you out of your post-holiday withdrawals or blues or whatever the young kids are calling ‘em these days, I don’t know what could!

If no, you could always go out and catch 27 Dresses, the new Katherine Heigl vehicle. I think that would lead to suicide for some this time of year, and I wonder why they choose this time of year to release it. Maybe for everyone sick of good films…ah, I digress.

Oh, wait, I know what you could do this weekend. I have a habit of reading classifieds, so I ran across this.

Come to Open Hands Acupuncture on Saturday, January 26th from 12p-4p for free demo acupuncture, massage and naturopathic consultations.

We’re located at 114 N. Killingsworth Ave. For more information, call us at 503.281.4656.

114 N. Killingsworth Ave., 97217 via Willamette Week

If I were in town, I’d probably check that out. Four minutes of free massage is better than no massage. Maybe there will be cookies…organic spelt cookies in this town. Still, organic spelt cookies are better than no cookies at all.

Anyway, I will try to post a fuller list of things to do this weekend that maybe won’t suck.

Disclaimer: Any information provided by this writer may suck, and the writer is not held responsible for that resultant suckiness in perpetuity throughout the universe.

Portland, strip clubs, barfly, 27 Dresses, Katherine Heigl, accupuncture, massage, organic, spelt, willamette week

Continuing on my Portland media kick (my first few posts of the month were all about Getting to know Enko Photography (part 1) (and part 2), today I’d like to address Portland PodCasts.

For those who don’t know, a podcast is something akin to internet radio. However, it’s better described as a “collection of digital media files which is distributed over the Internet using syndication feeds for playback on portable media players and personal computers.” It’s like TV shows without pictures on your iPod.

The only Portland podcast that I listen to is Delta Park Gets Lost where Jason and Anna dissect that LOST show I was talking about yesterday.

On a non-Portland-podcast related note, my favorite podcast of all time is Keith & the Girl and I’ve included YouTube video of them at the end of this entry to prove they are freaking hilarious!

Using The Podcast Directory I found a list of other Portland-based podcasts. You can also use iTunes to do a search and find your own Portland podcasts.

>Northwest Noise - life. podcasting. northwest noise.

>DVD Talk Radio - “DVD Talk Radio has an interview with Scott Dacko director of the indie thriller - The Insurgents. Winning raves at a number of film fests including a best of show nod at the Oldenburg Film Festival, The Insurgents is an explosive thriller that asks the question, “What if the terror thread came from within?”.”

>Clusterflux Anomaly Podcasts - Two Geekish-Freakish Myriad Entities discuss everything from Life, Love, Sex, and Current Events to Movies, Music, Comics, and Podcasts in this weekly show from Portland Oregon to the World.

>SexGeeks Podcasts - “Lindsay and Rob are geeks about sex the same way other people are geeks about technology. In this series we will be talking about all aspects of sex and relationships.”

>Weekly Davespeak Dave Matthews Band Podcast Podcasts - Our podcast covers news and views on Dave Matthews Band. With special guests from the DMB fan community and actual crew interviews planned for this summer. We’ll be talking about show reviews and critique of the new album songs as they’re played.

>Black Samba Rides Again Podcasts - Black Samba Rides Again is a Podcast program about life as a jazz artist, a monk, a philosopher and poet, among other things. Interesting background music and links to articles are provided on the blog.

>The Timely Beaver Podcasts - Skits and improve will keep you rolling on the floor while the independent musicians will have your head-a-banging.

>Post Modern Rock Show - KPSU, Portland Podcasts - The best new indie releases along with classic alternative. Hour-long show. Airs Friday nights at 7 on KPSU, 1450 AM in Portland, worldwide at kpsu.org, on-demand at postmodernrock.com.

Enjoy this KATG video and check out their podcast on iTunes if Keith and his magics make you laugh!

Like essentially everyone else in Portland, I’m an active MySpace and an active FaceBook member … and I probably spend way too much time on both networking sites. FaceBook has a neat application that will show you the “Top _____ in the ______ network.” and today I got to see the

Top TV in the Portland network
(and since I’ve obviously been on a PDX media kick lately, I figured I’d share my reactions to their list!)

First let me say that Portland has great taste in television; I have seen at least an entire season of all but one show on this list.

1. Family Guy - is an animated show geared towards adults about a horribly dysfunctional family in Quahog (co-hog), Rhode Island (a fictional town). Family Guy began in 1999 thanks to Seth MacFarlane and has been “cancelled” twice but thanks to the love from it’s fan, it is continually brought back on air. My favorite part of the show is absolutely the cut-away scenes that do nothing to actually add to the show, but are just so random they make you laugh.

2. LOST - this show is my absolute favorite show ever. Last night someone asked me why I was so fascinated by the show, and I really have no concrete reason. Sometimes it’s because I often feel just like Kate (played by Evangeline Lily) and sometimes it’s because I just want to know what the hell the weird smoke monster is! Castaways stuck on an island in the middle of no where (well, we kinda know where it might be) deal with personal drama and with “stuck-on-an-island-full-o-weird-shit” drama. If you’ve never seen any of this fantastic show, start at the very beginning and get hooked like I did!

3. House - Hugh Laurie plays a smart-ass yet oh-so-smart-and-hot doctor on this Fox television show. If that’s not enough to make you want to watch it, the fact that they have all sorts of weiiiiiiird medical ailments featured should be enough to draw you in.

4. Friends - the one show on the list I’m not a huge fan of. Of course I’ve seen a few episodes, and I know the general plotline, but I was not one of the Friends-fanatics that my generation went through. Sorry for those of you looking for details on these 20-somethings’ (30-somethings??) lives.

5. Scrubs - Hi. Larious. Serious comedy starring the beautiful Zach Braff. I have seen every episode from every season released. The latest season was just added to my NetFlix list and I will laugh my way through this satirical medical school/student dramedy all over again. Please enjoy the YouTube (Digger) is looking for a writer if anyone is interested) video of one of my favorite Scrubs scenes.

Wait wait wait! Do you live in Portland? Then the boys cry! No joke! My friend Cav, who I’ve mentioned here quite a few times, has this strange effect on men. She makes them cry. (Then she makes them crazy until they smother her and she has enough!)

Okay, so I’m not so sure that she is the one making them cry, but she attracts men who are overly sensitive and are always crying. It is a running joke among our group of friends that a guy isn’t really from Portland unless we’ve seen him cry. Every man that Cav has dated since moving to Portland last October has cried in front of her. It’s pretty ridiculous that every boy she’s been around romantically has cried, and I am seriously wondering if it’s in the water.

Other types of Portland boys that make me laugh:
>the Portland musician boy - he’s either dressed in his grungiest clothes or in his Sunday best, carrying a guitar, an amp and his duct-tape covered messenger bag. He probably has on fingerless gloves, too.

>the Portland hippie boy - he’s eating a Cliff bar, he just climbed off his bike (so his helmet is probably still on his head), one leg of his pants is still rolled up and his socks don’t match

>the Portland business (or IT) boy - with his dress shirt, pressed pants and wool pea coat he looks GQ, he stands on the streetcar even when they’re room for him to sit down, he talks on his cell phone where ever he’s walking and he normally has on 3 gallons of cologne

>the Portland gamer boy - black t-shirt, worn out (maybe even holey?) Converse, dazed look on his face, walks into things because he’s playing his handheld Nintendo thingy (I’m such a gamer, huh?)

What other Portland boys do you see around?

About Portland OR, Portland OR, Portland, Portland men, types of men

So, earlier I was talking about a Portland-style Biggest Loser competition. Now I want to tell you about the ways you can participate and the prizes you might just win if you do so!

There are three ways to participate in Portland’s Biggest Loser competition:

COMPETITION MODE
~come to an official weigh in (private one-on-one weighings - there will be no public displaying of any results)
~bring $10** for the competition (ALL money goes to the prizes)
~keep track of your goals and progress weekly on SparkPeople (in the blog section)
~find fitness buddies
~come to healthy dinner nights out
~find fitness activities in your area to join in on
~come to the final weigh in and see how much you’ve accomplished!

PLAY AT HOME MODE - not motivated by a cash prize?
~do all the same but ditch the $10 fee and the official weigh in
~you enjoy all the benefits of the program except eligibility to win prizes

SUPPORT MODE
~if you have a friend that is doing it and you want to support them
~if you have gotten into shape and want to share tips
~if you have a service to provide to help people reach their goals
~if you want to donate any items for winners or participants

There are cash prizes available to the top three losers (based on percentage of weight lost) and we are currently working on a head-to-toe makeover for the grand prize winner! This prize is complete with a professional photo shoot to show off the new you! On top of all this, we are working on “swag” bags for all participants in the competition! There will be more details on these things later!

(**this $10 “fee” is totally optional but required to be eligible for the prize. this is not a scam - some people are just more motivated by the chance to win some dough!!)

Donations from hairdressers, estheticians, massage therapists, photographers and other Portland companies are always welcome. Please either send me an email or leave a MySpace message on The Biggest Loser PDX’s MySpace page

DON’T BE SHY! This is not just for the extremely overweight. It is about being healthy and working towards a better you! You can’t even say that you don’t know anyone who is going to do this - I am, you know me, right!? Invite friends to join with you, compete with them (Cav and I are competing between the two of us on top of the overall competition!) If your work is not already doing it - have them start! The more people involved - the more we can do to make this really work for the people that really want to make a change!

Getting in shape can be tough - but it is a lot easier when you know that you are not alone! Again don’t be shy - whether you just want to tone up or you need to lose serious weight - make today the day you commit to doing it! We’ll be here to help!

My friend Cav and I both religiously watch The Biggest Loser and chat through it. This week while watching, she had a great idea - let’s bring The Biggest Loser to Portland!

So, have you ever watched The Biggest Loser and thought “I wish I could do that!” or even felt jealous that the contestants were so supported by their peers to lose weight? Now nothing is stopping you!

Who can join? You can! Your friends can! Your co-workers are even invited! The more people who join, the better it will be for everyone!

What: A “let’s make Portland healthier” campaign - lose some of your body weight, gain more muscle mass, learn to cook great tasting healthy foods, climb 18 flights of stairs without passing out! Essentially this is a contest with prizes (cash, a makeover and a photo shoot) to those who lose the greatest percentage of weight.

When: At the first of the year, Portland’s own version of The Biggest Loser is set to begin. There will be approximately 90 days worth of competition (January through March) in hopes of making these life-long habit changes, not just a temporary fix up.

Where: Here. Portland. Our town. Our town that is slowing becoming more and more unhealthy.

Why: to get in shape, to tone up, to find some fitness buddies, to improve your life and to change your current habits.

How: Friend The Biggest Loser PDX on MySpace!
Go to SparkPeople (an amazing website that tracks your calorie intake, activities, weight and measurement tracking)
Add cavilleri as your friend on SparkPeople
Join The Biggest Loser PDX group!

***more on prizes and incentives in the next entry!***

Want to keep doing weird things in Portland? Check out the “weird” events that are occurring from now until Sunday! (This is a perfect time of year for weird Portland events, by the way!)

Fright Town - The Pacific North West’s Scariest Haunted House, October 24-31, under the Portland Memorial Colosseum, go to the website to get a coupon worth up to $10 off your ticket in! Baron Von Goolo’s Museum of Horrors adds a madhouse of humor & horror to Fright Town! Elshoff Manor is bigger & scarier than ever, and Black Box is a “non-stop free-fall” into darkness! Something to scare everyone if you ask me!

Glowing Greens Miniature Golf is presenting Blacklight Adventures at Halloween this year! They bring together black lights, putt putt golf and Halloween all in one location. They offer an unforgettable adventure while simply playing mini-golf!

The 13th Door moves to a new location this year (The Washington County Fair Complex in Hillsboro) but is still ready to share their “frite lights” with you. Get ready to be condemned!!! Oooh, and watch out for the ginormous spiders that are said to be roaming around the condemned building!

Darklady’s Haunted Gothic Wedding Polyween is not for those under 21 or for those with a faint heart. No matter what you call the end-of-October holiday (Halloween, Hallowe’en, All Hallows’ Eve, All-hallow-even, Oíche Shamhna, Allantide, Hop-tu-Naa, Calan Gaeaf, Samhain, or even Pooky Night) - Darklady presents a lustful event for those willing to branch out. There is a potluck, a real cloakroom, a vow renewel ceremony & celebration and even a wedding cake from The Naughty Baker!

About Portland OR, Portland OR, Portland, keep Portland weird, Halloween events in Portland

So, there are always weird things going on in Portland, but right now, the weirdest thing in my life is the list of “search terms” that people are finding this website for. I thought I would share them (and my reaction) with you. Do you have a website? Do you have weird search terms that come up? Share the weirdness!

“portland my pretty ponies” - your pretty ponies can be tied up to the rings all over downtown. Send me a picture when you get here!

“what’s the worst time to visit portland oregon” - rush hour. Avoid rush hour.

“trivial pdx wednesday” - Yes, Wednesdays in Portland can be trivial. Perhaps you meant trivia PDX Wednesday … you might have gotten better results.

“fun places to go during halloween in fort worth texas” - Portland! Come to Portland, Oregon for Halloween! That is probably the most fun to have in Texas for the holiday. Hopefully your search lead you to About Fort Worth, Texas instead of my website.

“eagle tattoos” - Uhm, I wouldn’t recommend one. Nope.

“artist sarah gould” - You think I’m an artist? Yay!

“what part of colorado was “why did i get married?’ filmed in” - I hope this lead you to here or here because I don’t know. Why did you get married, btw?

“health disease blog” - what do you think Portland is?

“portland whistle underwater” - whistling underwater? I can’t even whistle ABOVE water!

“good places in portland to go snowboarding at” - down Sam Jackson Parkway … OHSU busses will pull over for you and let you snowboard right down! (Who thinks you can snowboard in Portland, Oregon?)

“common sense comic” - comics have common sense? Have you ever listened to Keith and the Girl?

“is it possible for peanut butter to give you a sinus headach” - Well, if you don’t stop shoving it up your nose, of course you’re going to get a sinus headache!