Portland, OR

Ah, TriMet. Truthfully speaking, the public transit in Portland is tops! Absolute tops! Well, ok, it could run a little later on some of the main lines, but I understand that this is really not a “late night” kind of town. That is really my only gripe about TriMet. Well, the only gripe that TriMet can do anything about…

So I have noticed a certain universal seating chart on most buses in this town. It seems that the front of the bus, unless occupied by moms with strollers, seems to be the seat of choice for crazy people. Let me define crazy. They may or may not be homeless, they may or may not be clean and relatively well-groomed, but they are definitely crazy for conversation. With you, themselves, the bus driver, some odd voice they hear in their heads.

I was riding the 17 Holgate the other day, in the late afternoon, and maybe it was just because the traffic was bad downtown, but I heard an old man tell anyone listening that he had been to Johnny Cash’s house in Tennessee back in the day. He also sang an original song which he had sang to Cash during the visit. Now, this wouldn’t be so bad, except that I heard the story twice. In its entirety.

Now, the heart of the matter is that the old man was lonely, and he used the bus to gain an audience. See, crazy doesn’t always mean dangerous. There are many of this type of crazy riding the TriMet on a daily basis. If you don’t have the patience to either listen or pretend to listen, you should seek a seat farther back on the bus.

However, though I prefer the back of the bus, actually the second seat on the driver side behind the door is my personal fav, sometimes the back of the bus has the crazy people. Or worse yet, teenagers. Cue ominous music.

So my best advice is to shoot for the middle of the bus. It’s usually quiet there, and there is sufficient light by which to read. Because in Portland, everyone reads on the bus. And if you do talk on your cell phone, be aware that no one else is, so keep your voice down. Unless I am sitting next to you, because I am an unabashed eavesdropper, and so are most people.

In fact, to the girl who was sitting behind me earlier last week, I hope that your “date” that took you to see Bela Fleck didn’t get the wrong idea since you did agree to accept his invitation, even though you have no inclination to date him at all. You were just using him to go to the show…I hope he took it well when you didn’t kiss him goodnight.

Peace.

Portland, TriMet, public transit, Holgate, Johnny Cash, Bela Fleck